Happyness and something like that

Yes, sometimes you have a feeling to sit down and ask yourself whether you are happy with what you have right now. I never have that feeling. Somehow I am never happy as, if I remain happy, I fear losing my curiosity. But that doesn't mean I am sad. I am happy, but just not that happy to stay happy forever. I was happy when my first step out of the creepy subway station at the 42nd street in New York landed at Times Square. The enormity made me forget everything almost instantaneously. I was happy when I dined at Serendipity with my close relatives. They made me realize that there are people who'll always be happy to be with you. Then there are friends with whom you just can't be down and sad. But to be honest sometimes, you don't need friends. A break is what you need from all of them. May be you've hurt a few along the way, or maybe you were too obvious to the few. A break from all that is what you need.
It's hard to be selfless though. The only fear you have when you help selflessly is the fear of people misunderstanding your noble deed. And that's when you have to defend yourself against that tide of mistrust. But not knowing what mistrust is, you don't even know what you are defending yourself against. And that further damages everything that you built. But then, god does things for the best. May be all we need sometimes is a lesson. A lesson that brings you down to earth and makes you question your inability to find a new ambition for so long. Then you shake your head and smile. You can feel the cold waters of Niagara slapping your bare face and yet you smile.
Ambitions are really important. It's more like a challenge or may be a goal or may be a destination you try to reach. Having an ambition is important in way because you have a direction to go to. Not like scoring awesome in GRE and getting grades in MS should you stop dreaming big. Yes, you have achieved what you wanted to achieve since 7 years, but would you stop at that? Stop when you still have 6 decades to live? Nah. You have to keep moving, to new places, meeting new people, touching new lives and helping them improve if necessary or learn from them and improve yourself. Life's big and unpredictable. A fortune teller told my mother when I was 7 months old, that I'll suck at education and may not even go beyond high school. In her letter, she mentioned how happy and proud she was to see me living my dreams. Isn't keeping her happy, an ambition? Nothing beats that feeling you have when your biggest critic cries because she's finally proud of you. Just a reminder that there are better things to cherish than gluing broken toys. You grow up. May be someday, you'll grow up so much that everything else will seem futile from the top. All you'll do is keep chasing higher altitudes further obscuring the sight of slums where you came from.
Found a new hobby though. Travelling. Amazing places, people, food, cultures, traditions. United States look much different now.