Expressing love

Thank you mother, for pushing me towards my goals. I hated you a lot for that. But I'm thankful to you in every possible way I can think of. You changed me and kept me grounded. Today, when I saw you, I was crying from inside because I could never express how much I love you because of my ego. I am doing this for you. My dreams are yours mother.
Thank you grandpa, for all those nice bedtime stories and looking after me when I was a kid. Teaching me values, virtues and punctuality. I miss you, old man.
Thank you father, for listening to me and believing in me. You always took my side when mother and I used to quarrel, acted like a pacifier for me. I miss you and I love you.
Thank you Shubhra, for taking my place in the family. My mother would not have been able to live without me if you weren't there to fill the void. She always wanted a daughter and in you, she found one. I don't mind. You express your love for them by jumping around them when they come home from office. You sit beside them when they are sad. You listen to them, you make them happy. Something my ego never allowed me to do.
I was not heartless then, nor I am now. I just don't know how to express love. Today, I feel terrible for all the foolish arrogance and troubles I have caused you so far. I changed and made some wrong choices in life that hurt you all. Mother, you missed and cried for the loss of that old, sweet me who always smiled and never complained, who was brilliant and knew what his goals and ambitions were since kindergarten. I regret those three years of my life which forced me to take decisions I never wished to take. I am sorry that you had to sacrifice a lot for me. I am repaying your faith in me, little by little. I love when you smile and feel proud of me now. I wish I never changed, but then I'd have never known how valuable woman you are to me.
I still can't finish reading the letter you sent me on mother's day. After reading the first page, my eyes get foggy and heart too numb to beat.