Spiraling

The question still looms large and unanswered. What is the meaning of life? Do I know myself? Or do I know what I seek?
Here's a disadvantage of being a clown. You have to smile even when you are broken from inside. You gotta maintain your rep of being happy and carefree. You can't be glum even if your brain is dead or heart is tossed six miles high. Whatever the case you gotta put up a brave face and smile through the teeth. So, where should a clown go when he's sad or down for their glum is always taken as a part of their act and no one really knows how they are feeling from inside? When you cry, they clap for your portrayal of sadness is immaculate. And then you wonder, is there anyone who'd see the glint of pain through all this façade of fake happiness.
Heck. Too much on my plate to eat right now. But I won't eat. How can I eat?
Sigh...  Someday for sure.. Till then, with the moon I run, far from the carnage of fiery sun, as it's coming closer.