Railing on the balcony, feeling the wind as it rustled and brushed his hair, he stood. The height didn't bother him. He was used to heights. But the fall.. Won't that be painful? 'It's fleeting', the pain that death comes with, he reminded himself. Always second best to the one he received at the merciful hands of Life. His lips twitched at the irony. Sometimes it's best to let it go. He braced himself and stood on the railing. Envisioned the fall. Looked up, sneering while he did so, he thanked god for being so kind. And he jumped...
"Why?" God asked, as he stood draped in whites at the gates of heaven. "Why did you do that?"
"I was bored", he replied casually without flinching. God forced a contemplative smile. "So am I.."
The fog disappeared. The golden gate was swapped with a worn out wooden fence. He could smell the tarmac. "He is alive, Thank god!!" someone yelped with a shrill voice. He got up, bloody nose and badly bruised legs were the only remnants of the mighty fall. He dusted his jackets and started walking gingerly.
"How did you survive that fall?" They asked, astonished.
"I never fell. I just failed", he said.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Woof woof!
Another piece of I-miss-you-my-love knowing perfectly well that she ain't going to read it. Barking gingerly, looking confusedly at the new surroundings and of-course, scared of your new master you entered my house. Couldn't find your mommy and brothers and sisters, could you? I felt bad for you but I was too happy to notice anything. You were mine. Born on my birthday. A Perfect birthday gift. I was occupied with the thoughts of convincing mum and dad about keeping you. I conjured up the story, I am good at it. It tickled their kind heart. How could a puppy lying by the roadside be so cute? they thought. "She must be missing her mother", mum said as she held you tightly. I love the way I lie. Sweet lies. Partly because I didn't want them to look at you as an additional burden. I was enough, wasn't I?
I had to teach you everything. Where to sleep, where to poop, where to eat, what to eat, when to eat, when not to bark. And yes, I hated it sometimes as you were very very unmanageable. But I could understand what mum had to go through in raising me. Coffee told me NOT to take you on the bed at nights, just in case you develop the habit and forget that you are a dog. Sorry for not picking you up when you used to cry. Sorry for pulling your tail when you used to sleep at the door of bedroom. But I had to. What if someone trod on you by accident?
Then I taught you how to jump. Bribed you into it, one pedigree grain for every successful jump. People used to watch you in awe. You were too young to start jumping. Everything was awesome. You were a pleasant change for me as somehow I didn't waste my time sitting on computer playing games. I spent a lot of time with you. You used to get up with me at 3 am and used to sleep with me too, crouching under my arms. I used to feel good. You never barked on me or bit me even though I used to lift you up by your tail, pull your ears or clamp your mouth with hands until you choked. Yes, I was cruel but I wanted you to hate me. I wasn't going to be with you, my parents were. I allowed them to treat you like a child. They brought you dresses, they treated you like a princess. Proudly invited people to see their new girl.
You loved them back. Every evening you stood by the door or in the gallery eagerly waiting for them. You madly licked their face when they used to come and you madly dashed from room to room when I used come back from college. That was true love.
Then the day to leave you came. I was sad for I loved you a little too much. But I was happy that you'd not miss me as my parents started loving you at times more than they loved me. Why wouldn't they? You loved them back. I never showed how much I loved them. I was always rude on the surface as I can't express my love.
But you taught me many things. You made me calm. Playing with you was worth 1000 times more fun than hanging out at the after-college social gatherings . I regret not spending the last birthday with you and instead going at a useless get-together of which I hated every single second. I am sorry. But hey, I did bring you gifts didn't I? Even my close friends came to visit you. Because of you my sister could bring home 2 new dogs. Aunt hated dogs but you were too cute to hate and your presence paved way for not one but two dogs. So, thank you again.
Seeing you daily on skype makes me happy. I love to hear what you do. Love the way my parents are treating you. But I don't know how to thank you for filling my space in that house. Mum would have cried daily if you weren't there. Now she's more worried about you not eating than me not being there. And I don't mind. All we need is love and you are lovely.
I am sad that today I am not there to give you birthday bumps or to take you on the terrace of our building and hold you out to scare you. But yup, I love you. I cry at nights, like I have this tear rolling down my cheek while writing this. People say that you'd have forgotten me by now. But I am damn sure, you'd be missing me too. Soon we shall meet. Can't wait for it. Happy birthday precious. Special you are.
I had to teach you everything. Where to sleep, where to poop, where to eat, what to eat, when to eat, when not to bark. And yes, I hated it sometimes as you were very very unmanageable. But I could understand what mum had to go through in raising me. Coffee told me NOT to take you on the bed at nights, just in case you develop the habit and forget that you are a dog. Sorry for not picking you up when you used to cry. Sorry for pulling your tail when you used to sleep at the door of bedroom. But I had to. What if someone trod on you by accident?
Then I taught you how to jump. Bribed you into it, one pedigree grain for every successful jump. People used to watch you in awe. You were too young to start jumping. Everything was awesome. You were a pleasant change for me as somehow I didn't waste my time sitting on computer playing games. I spent a lot of time with you. You used to get up with me at 3 am and used to sleep with me too, crouching under my arms. I used to feel good. You never barked on me or bit me even though I used to lift you up by your tail, pull your ears or clamp your mouth with hands until you choked. Yes, I was cruel but I wanted you to hate me. I wasn't going to be with you, my parents were. I allowed them to treat you like a child. They brought you dresses, they treated you like a princess. Proudly invited people to see their new girl.
You loved them back. Every evening you stood by the door or in the gallery eagerly waiting for them. You madly licked their face when they used to come and you madly dashed from room to room when I used come back from college. That was true love.
Then the day to leave you came. I was sad for I loved you a little too much. But I was happy that you'd not miss me as my parents started loving you at times more than they loved me. Why wouldn't they? You loved them back. I never showed how much I loved them. I was always rude on the surface as I can't express my love.
But you taught me many things. You made me calm. Playing with you was worth 1000 times more fun than hanging out at the after-college social gatherings . I regret not spending the last birthday with you and instead going at a useless get-together of which I hated every single second. I am sorry. But hey, I did bring you gifts didn't I? Even my close friends came to visit you. Because of you my sister could bring home 2 new dogs. Aunt hated dogs but you were too cute to hate and your presence paved way for not one but two dogs. So, thank you again.
I am sad that today I am not there to give you birthday bumps or to take you on the terrace of our building and hold you out to scare you. But yup, I love you. I cry at nights, like I have this tear rolling down my cheek while writing this. People say that you'd have forgotten me by now. But I am damn sure, you'd be missing me too. Soon we shall meet. Can't wait for it. Happy birthday precious. Special you are.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Cries of lonely mind
Quite a respite after a quiet first shift at the job. Summer is signalling it's arrival with piercing rays that seem to get hotter by every day. Soon, the nature will hand over plants it's greenery which was held for ransom. Winter's over. Wrong time to buy jacket perhaps? Heck, I have money and will spend. Atleast I have the dignity to spend it on striped jackets rather than strippers.
I am enjoying the weather sitting quietly at the 6th floor, surveying the things around me for no apparent reason and listening to iPod. It's funny how songs control your mind when it's perfectly still. Every song prompts the mind to enter into a new realm. It wanders with every song, holding hands with the memories that are glued to it. Our mind is a funny thing. It precisely desires things that are or will be dreadful for you. Sinful desires perhaps. I love those sporadic black outs of mind when you simply don't think about anything. Isn't it amazing not to think about anything? No worries, no quarrels with your friends, no Oh-my-god-I-have-to-finish-this-homework, no will-she-say-yes?, nothing at all. May be that's the only time when my mind is truly mine. How fascinating it is that the web of social connections that we make, weave itself so tightly around us that we forget whom it is weaved around. We forget ourselves. Then we tweet, update status and post pictures hoping people will like it, people will comment on it and will have a good laugh. Then we start doing things that'll be worthy of few likes and comments. These social bonds become heavier and heavier and when we see no responses, we grow restless. Put on another status message to see how they react. Delay in response, pops up frustration, anxiety. Should I post the pics of that drunken party? That was some crazy night. And we start spilling the beans just to see if any monkeys eat them. We forget the word privacy. When we were young, we fought with our parents to give us some space. But soon, my space becomes a social stage where we dance like puppets for the amusement of the people in our friend list.
We must control our mind. Have you enjoyed sunset or sunrise recently? or have you heard chirping birds? Walked your dog? Talked with your parents or cousins or the ones with whom you haven't talked for long? Have you gone out for a long drive alone to explore new streets/eateries or just to have a talk with yourself? Or have you just stood still, enjoying the clear sky at night? The moon, Ursa Major, sirius? A 15" screen is a part of your life, not the whole of it.
You live only once. Don't live for comments and likes. If you die tomorrow, you'll still find people to Like it. But very few people to mourn. Think.
I am enjoying the weather sitting quietly at the 6th floor, surveying the things around me for no apparent reason and listening to iPod. It's funny how songs control your mind when it's perfectly still. Every song prompts the mind to enter into a new realm. It wanders with every song, holding hands with the memories that are glued to it. Our mind is a funny thing. It precisely desires things that are or will be dreadful for you. Sinful desires perhaps. I love those sporadic black outs of mind when you simply don't think about anything. Isn't it amazing not to think about anything? No worries, no quarrels with your friends, no Oh-my-god-I-have-to-finish-this-homework, no will-she-say-yes?, nothing at all. May be that's the only time when my mind is truly mine. How fascinating it is that the web of social connections that we make, weave itself so tightly around us that we forget whom it is weaved around. We forget ourselves. Then we tweet, update status and post pictures hoping people will like it, people will comment on it and will have a good laugh. Then we start doing things that'll be worthy of few likes and comments. These social bonds become heavier and heavier and when we see no responses, we grow restless. Put on another status message to see how they react. Delay in response, pops up frustration, anxiety. Should I post the pics of that drunken party? That was some crazy night. And we start spilling the beans just to see if any monkeys eat them. We forget the word privacy. When we were young, we fought with our parents to give us some space. But soon, my space becomes a social stage where we dance like puppets for the amusement of the people in our friend list.
We must control our mind. Have you enjoyed sunset or sunrise recently? or have you heard chirping birds? Walked your dog? Talked with your parents or cousins or the ones with whom you haven't talked for long? Have you gone out for a long drive alone to explore new streets/eateries or just to have a talk with yourself? Or have you just stood still, enjoying the clear sky at night? The moon, Ursa Major, sirius? A 15" screen is a part of your life, not the whole of it.
You live only once. Don't live for comments and likes. If you die tomorrow, you'll still find people to Like it. But very few people to mourn. Think.
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